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Hey everyone!
I want to start off by saying that I’m sorry for being so MIA on here. It’s been about 3 weeks since my last blog post, which is really unlike me. I’m not even really sure I can pinpoint the exact reason why I haven’t been present here, but I think it boils down to a few reasons, and I’d like to share them with you so you can understand me a bit better.
Ever since I started doing my blog full-time in April of this year, it’s felt absolutely incredible to work for myself. I get to decide how, when, and where I work, and everything I come up with is completely from my own mind. A lot of bloggers have content creators or other people to bounce ideas off of (which is great, I’d honestly like to be there someday) which help them with their scheduling, branding, and overall creation in general of their blog. I, however, have not decided to take on another member of my team just yet, so it’s just me. I’ve never even had an intern. Because of this, I find myself very easily slipping into cases of writer’s block. After blogging for three years now (my 3rd blogiversary is January 1, 2018!) I still constantly find myself wanting to change the entire brand of my blog. I think of different kinds of things I want to post about or different color schemes or styles of clothes and I freak out thinking I need to go in a different direction, but I’m not quite sure where that is. Are there any other bloggers who feel the same way?
Also, as y’all know, I uprooted in October of this year and moved from Austin, TX to Charleston, SC. I am completely floored by bloggers who are able to go through such life-changing events like an out-of-state move (or bigger, like the birth of a child or the loss of a loved one) and are able to seamlessly keep their blogs going as if nothing is happening. I know how they’re doing it (hint: they aren’t sleeping) but when I went through this move, I simply was not able to keep my blog going with the same strength and speed as it was this summer no matter how hard I tried. Y’all, I was trying to meet new people, make new friends, figure out a new self-employed health insurance plan, find someone to take my photos, decorate an apartment, find time for my new boyfriend (my boyfriend and I of 4 years that y’all used to see me post about broke up in June), figure out some contract social media work I’m doing on the side, call and visit my parents and friends in Texas, be a bridesmaid in an out-of-state wedding, AND keep my blog going well enough to pay all my new bills (I was living at home and not paying rent the whole time I was blogging full-time this summer). I would constantly find myself coming up with new ideas for content that would get me really excited, and then something would come up and I’d put it aside for another time because there seemed to be much bigger fish to fry in my life.
As hard as I have tried for the past three years, I have decided that I will never be the kind of blogger that is able to put the real world away and be in “blogger mode” at all times. I truly admire the girls who can do this in many ways because a lot of them become really successful because of their ability to make blogging their life, but I have always been one to put my phone or computer down and enjoy the real world that’s happening around me. I honestly consider myself really lucky to have gotten to where I am because this whole “living in the moment” thing sounds really nice until it means you’re missing your deadlines because you’re too busy going out with friends or going to the beach for the weekend with your boyfriend to get a new blog post up. It’s almost like there is this invisible wall you have to pretend isn’t there in order to live as a normal person and a full-time blogger at the same time, but my wall is thick and murky, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to forget that it’s there.
So, once I felt pretty settled and in control of the major things in my life after my move, I was already planning a trip back home for Christmas for two weeks, and it’s like I was hitting the reset button all over again. Once I was at my parents’ house, it felt like I was on vacation (like being at home can do) and getting back to my blogging schedule felt completely impossible to me. Also, I feel like it’s important to mention that I live with an extreme, un-medicated case of ADD (any medicine I take for it caused me to have terrible reactions, including depression) so “getting back on schedule” is a task that’s 20 times more difficult for me to do than a normal person.
So, here I am, sitting in my parents’ kitchen, venting to y’all because even after I’ve been MIA like this, I know I have a lot of people out there that read this who care about me. Some of you know me very well, some I’ll never have the pleasure of meeting, but each of Y’all mean so much to me, and I want to be very open and honest with you and share what my life has been like lately mostly because I know that everyone out there has struggled of their own. I’m going to continue blogging because the fact is, I absolutely love it. It actually does feel like I found my professional purpose here, and there is no way I’d ever consider giving it up for something else. I’m going to continue to live with these same struggles, I know that, but even as complicated as it can feel, I’ve never felt like my blog has done anything but bring joy and good things and good people into my life overall. Because of that, I’m going to work as hard as possible to make this the best By, Hilary Rose I possibly can. I’m going to grow, eventually add new members to my team, travel more (I’m going to Cabo in 2 weeks AH), and create the best content possible for Y’all not matter what.
I wish you all a very Merry Christmas! Thank you so much for sticking around, I appreciate each and every reader out there.
Post from: byhilarysore.com
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